There's too much to do
IS IT TRUE?
yes it feels such a big venture I feel overwhelmed.
THERE'S TOO MUCH TO DO .
CAN YOU ABSOLUTELY KNOW THAT IT'S TRUE?
no the only thing i need to know what to do is whatever comes to me in this moment. one step at a time .
HOW DO YOU REACT WHEN YOU BELIEVE THAT THOUGHT ?
I feel overwhelmed, I'm already tired at the idea of such a big project, I procrastinate and find ways and excuses not to do what I had planned, I tell myself I'm crap and just not disiplined enough. I go to the beach rather than start the project, I bail out and don't do it.
I say I'll do things and then change my mind . I feel guilty and think about eating chocolate or smoking .
I get to play small, not take any chances, stay safe in my life, avoid people critisizing me,
I'm in gods business thinking I know how huge this is.
This thought brings me stress
WHO WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT THIS THOUGHT?
THERE'S TOO MUCH TO DO
Clear, being present, doing one thing at a time, focused on the task at hand and not projecting a future. taking onboard larger projects, peaceful, calm, intent, making the effort. enjoying the journey, less goal orientated.
HOW WOULD YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE DIFFERENTLY WITHOUT THIS BELIEF?
Peaceful, flowing, enjoying the process, learning, free, spontaneous, embracing projects.
TURNAROUNDS
There isn't too much to do
Truer,
Only what i'm doing in the present moment, here, now
Following the simple directions
Starting at the beginning, breaking things down into smaller baby steps and not overwhelming myself with the idea that it'll be too much to handle.
There's too little to do
Ha ha ha
ain't that the truth sometimes
sometimes I'm lost for things to do and so spend hours sitting in front of this computer reading.
I can sit for hours with nothing to do, making phone calls to entertain myself.
yes i could possibly embrace this project and find out it's not such a complicated process as I thought especially if I take one step at a time.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
addictions
At present it is my belief that all addictions arise from 2 areas.
1,
They are biochemical malfunction which is related to faulty diet, mainly consumption of too much sugar in its various guises including too much sweet fruit.
A lack of animal foods especially animal fats and omega 3 fatty acids
Over consumption of complex and refined carbohydrates due to an inability to process starches.
Sugar being a gateway drug effecting our nuerotransmitters which causes us to seek substances to either relax or stimulate us.
2,
In our fast paced goal orientated society, we have been programmed to achieve some kind of status which doesn't exist. In our attemp to get love, there is a tendancy to disempower ourselves leading to people pleasing and co-dependancy. Moving away from the moment and loosing touch with reality.
1,
They are biochemical malfunction which is related to faulty diet, mainly consumption of too much sugar in its various guises including too much sweet fruit.
A lack of animal foods especially animal fats and omega 3 fatty acids
Over consumption of complex and refined carbohydrates due to an inability to process starches.
Sugar being a gateway drug effecting our nuerotransmitters which causes us to seek substances to either relax or stimulate us.
2,
In our fast paced goal orientated society, we have been programmed to achieve some kind of status which doesn't exist. In our attemp to get love, there is a tendancy to disempower ourselves leading to people pleasing and co-dependancy. Moving away from the moment and loosing touch with reality.
update
Opps been out of action for a while now.
Not literally of course, Life couldn't be greater. I am embracing being single, I love it, really I do.
Who would believe it but I've been questioning my mind ALOT recently and apart from still cursing bad drivers and getting pissed off when people wake me up my thinking has become alot more peaceful. And I have to say that I feel very happy in my life.
One thing that does arise at the moment is that I have been given a wonderful opportunity to do what I love (facilitating The Work) and I'm procrastinating about it right now. I believe it brings up thoughts of having to prove myself or I'm not going to be good enough or I'm gonna get it wrong, People will laugh at me, My dad told me I would fail and it's come true, There's too much to do !
All great thoughts to inquire on.
S is back this week and I am living in his house. We haven't seen each other for 6 weeks and he has a new girlfriend. I feel very removed from it at the moment and we'll see what happens when we finally see each other, will those old feelings be ignited or not ..
I'll keep you posted.
I've also been playing with my diet again and cut back on veggies and size of my meals, it's interesting to see how little actually fills you where did i fit it all before ?
Blessings
Pipx
Not literally of course, Life couldn't be greater. I am embracing being single, I love it, really I do.
Who would believe it but I've been questioning my mind ALOT recently and apart from still cursing bad drivers and getting pissed off when people wake me up my thinking has become alot more peaceful. And I have to say that I feel very happy in my life.
One thing that does arise at the moment is that I have been given a wonderful opportunity to do what I love (facilitating The Work) and I'm procrastinating about it right now. I believe it brings up thoughts of having to prove myself or I'm not going to be good enough or I'm gonna get it wrong, People will laugh at me, My dad told me I would fail and it's come true, There's too much to do !
All great thoughts to inquire on.
S is back this week and I am living in his house. We haven't seen each other for 6 weeks and he has a new girlfriend. I feel very removed from it at the moment and we'll see what happens when we finally see each other, will those old feelings be ignited or not ..
I'll keep you posted.
I've also been playing with my diet again and cut back on veggies and size of my meals, it's interesting to see how little actually fills you where did i fit it all before ?
Blessings
Pipx
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
speaking my truth
wow, at last i'm speaking my truth.
after having a great chat with S on saturday and us becoming very vulnerable.
We spoke again yesterday and he asked me when he would see me . I replied when you make time , your always busy.
So he invited me to his house last night for dinner with his housemates and there was me all meek and saying ok ..
Anyway after I put the phone down to him I realised I hadn't spoken my truth and that i was feeling angey and disapointed . so I called him back and told him that actually that didn't work for me and that I wanted to see him on my own.
As it turned out Iw ent over for dinner and hung out with him after and I really got that he's not interested in me on a sexual level, he just wants to be friends. even though he flirts with me..
Doing The Work this morning I got that I just want him to agree with me ..
I'm feeling free today and just amazed at how my mind loves to fall back into denial.. anyway I've told him that I will move in for 1 month to his house , so he'll be my landlord , that should make things interesting huh!!
ok blessings to all
\xxpipxxx
after having a great chat with S on saturday and us becoming very vulnerable.
We spoke again yesterday and he asked me when he would see me . I replied when you make time , your always busy.
So he invited me to his house last night for dinner with his housemates and there was me all meek and saying ok ..
Anyway after I put the phone down to him I realised I hadn't spoken my truth and that i was feeling angey and disapointed . so I called him back and told him that actually that didn't work for me and that I wanted to see him on my own.
As it turned out Iw ent over for dinner and hung out with him after and I really got that he's not interested in me on a sexual level, he just wants to be friends. even though he flirts with me..
Doing The Work this morning I got that I just want him to agree with me ..
I'm feeling free today and just amazed at how my mind loves to fall back into denial.. anyway I've told him that I will move in for 1 month to his house , so he'll be my landlord , that should make things interesting huh!!
ok blessings to all
\xxpipxxx
Saturday, July 14, 2007
my cars broken
I'm pissed off today because my car has broken down,
I can't reverse it so i'm trying to see the possibilities that this might be a good thing.
one possibility is that I'm learning more about cars.
another may be that I can buy myself a van and stop paying rent and live in my van.
anyway feeling abit bummed out at the moment.
pip
I can't reverse it so i'm trying to see the possibilities that this might be a good thing.
one possibility is that I'm learning more about cars.
another may be that I can buy myself a van and stop paying rent and live in my van.
anyway feeling abit bummed out at the moment.
pip
Friday, July 13, 2007
vunerability
It's friday today.
I've felt very confused and vulnerable today due to S asking to move into his house, as a lodger that is.
I'm noticing that I still feel very deeply towards this guy even though I don't want him as a boyfriend. Our last encounter on this level left me feeling pretty bruised for a while. I'm also noticing that I'm scared to tell him how I feel because he might reject me. Do I want him to get involved with the illusion of me or the real me. Over the past few days I have had a few friends who have told me that they love me because i am able to delve deeply into my vulnerability and that they really see me doing my work. So I'm disproving that my sensitive nature is a problem in my life and starting to like that side of me.
So Gio suggested I tell S what's going on for me, yes I am over and bored of hiding these parts of myself , time to move through this and if S isn't open to me like that then at least I know the score and can move on and be around friends who love and support me as I am..
Have also just completed my 2nd class in pole dancing, it's full on and great fun.
Anyway that's me today
blessings
pipxx
wish me luck
I've felt very confused and vulnerable today due to S asking to move into his house, as a lodger that is.
I'm noticing that I still feel very deeply towards this guy even though I don't want him as a boyfriend. Our last encounter on this level left me feeling pretty bruised for a while. I'm also noticing that I'm scared to tell him how I feel because he might reject me. Do I want him to get involved with the illusion of me or the real me. Over the past few days I have had a few friends who have told me that they love me because i am able to delve deeply into my vulnerability and that they really see me doing my work. So I'm disproving that my sensitive nature is a problem in my life and starting to like that side of me.
So Gio suggested I tell S what's going on for me, yes I am over and bored of hiding these parts of myself , time to move through this and if S isn't open to me like that then at least I know the score and can move on and be around friends who love and support me as I am..
Have also just completed my 2nd class in pole dancing, it's full on and great fun.
Anyway that's me today
blessings
pipxx
wish me luck
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Hi There,
My name is Pip and I'm starting a blog to express my deepest thoughts, dreams, desires and fears. This is a space where I can really expose myself and let everyone who's willing to listen to get a view into my mind.
Today I have been feeling rather vulnerable, I noticed how I wanted to close down around S (S is my ex boyfriend ) because I heard that he is interested in one of my friends . I noticed how I wanted to close down and shut him out of my heart when I heard this. My thoughts went to feeling really jealous and not being able to handle seeing him with one of my friends. Interestingly enough there was also a part of me that wants to welcome this as a way to work though some of my jealousy issues and desire to possess him.. Also noticing conflicting feelings of feeling like I'm still in love with him and yet being clear that I don't want him as a boyfriend.. Sometimes there is clarity around this and other days I'm in confussion around it.
anyway thats my blahhh for today.
I would welcome any feedback anyone has around this
blessings
My name is Pip and I'm starting a blog to express my deepest thoughts, dreams, desires and fears. This is a space where I can really expose myself and let everyone who's willing to listen to get a view into my mind.
Today I have been feeling rather vulnerable, I noticed how I wanted to close down around S (S is my ex boyfriend ) because I heard that he is interested in one of my friends . I noticed how I wanted to close down and shut him out of my heart when I heard this. My thoughts went to feeling really jealous and not being able to handle seeing him with one of my friends. Interestingly enough there was also a part of me that wants to welcome this as a way to work though some of my jealousy issues and desire to possess him.. Also noticing conflicting feelings of feeling like I'm still in love with him and yet being clear that I don't want him as a boyfriend.. Sometimes there is clarity around this and other days I'm in confussion around it.
anyway thats my blahhh for today.
I would welcome any feedback anyone has around this
blessings
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