vunerability

It's friday today.
I've felt very confused and vulnerable today due to S asking to move into his house, as a lodger that is.
I'm noticing that I still feel very deeply towards this guy even though I don't want him as a boyfriend. Our last encounter on this level left me feeling pretty bruised for a while. I'm also noticing that I'm scared to tell him how I feel because he might reject me. Do I want him to get involved with the illusion of me or the real me. Over the past few days I have had a few friends who have told me that they love me because i am able to delve deeply into my vulnerability and that they really see me doing my work. So I'm disproving that my sensitive nature is a problem in my life and starting to like that side of me.
So Gio suggested I tell S what's going on for me, yes I am over and bored of hiding these parts of myself , time to move through this and if S isn't open to me like that then at least I know the score and can move on and be around friends who love and support me as I am..
Have also just completed my 2nd class in pole dancing, it's full on and great fun.
Anyway that's me today
blessings
pipxx
wish me luck